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Too Much of a Woman

A Poem by Marce Nefechi

 I am too much of a woman to fold myself into polite corners

Too much of a woman to stay quiet while they rewrite my worth

Too much of a woman to bend my back when the world weighs on it

Too much of a woman to smile when they tell me not to

Too much of a woman to let the cracks in my bones stay unnoticed

I am the first to arrive and the last to leave,

The one who carries everyone’s burdens and forgets her own

The one who sweeps floors, folds laundry, reads reports,

navigates meetings, listens to complaints

Who apologizes for being tired, for being angry, for existing

I am the woman whose ideas are stolen and claimed as someone else’s

Whose voice is interrupted, whose hand is overlooked

Whose labor is measured in cents, whose effort is invisible

Whose worth is questioned, whose body is critiqued

Whose anger is a problem, whose desire is dangerous

Whose love is too much, whose power is too loud

Still, I rise through it all.

I am the daughter who hides bruises so no one will shame her

The sister who defends her sibling even at her own cost

The mother who counts every coin

Who prays that the world does not crush the small dreams she carries

Who works, who hopes, who bends, who breaks

but keeps going because there is no other choice but to be fierce.

I am the woman who laughs at jokes meant to hurt

Who grits her teeth at the sideways glance, the whispered insult

The eye that rolls, the word that bites

The hands that try to keep her in place

The walls built to contain her

and I slip past them anyway

I slip past them anyway, I slip past them anyway.

I am too much of a woman to be polite

Too much of a woman to be small

Too much of a woman to dim the fire that grows in my chest

even when they say it should not exist,

even when they say it is dangerous,

even when they try to clip the wings I never asked permission for.

I am the one who loves too loudly

Who cries too easily

Who laughs too freely

Who fights too hard

Who dreams too wide

Who burns too bright

And I do not apologize

I do not apologize

I do not apologize.

I am the storm in the office, the heat in the kitchen

The pulse in the street, the voice in the court

The insistence of existence when they say I should vanish

The bending and breaking and rising and shining

all in one body, all in one mind,

all in one heart that refuses to be silent.

I am the woman who feeds, who fights, who loves

Who risks everything, who still rises when they say I cannot

Who claims my body, my time, my words

Who walks in the world like it belongs to me because it does

Who laughs in their faces because my joy is mine

My fire is mine

My life is mine.

I am too much of a woman for this world

Too bold, too brilliant, too alive

And if they are afraid, let them be afraid

Because I will not shrink,

I will not bend

I will not apologize for being every part of myself

I will rise, I will shine, I will take up space

I will carry my history, my pain, my power

And I will be uncontainable.

I am the weight of all women who came before me,

The pulse of all women who will come after

The fire in their hands, the light in their eyes

The song that refuses to end

The story that will not be erased

The brilliance that cannot be dimmed

I am too much of a woman

I am everything.